Why ?


Why is the world the way it is. Why am I like this. Why are others like that.
Why am I thinking this. Why , Why and I dont know why ?

Today I attempt to answer question with questions. Black the question and Orange the answer for the question as a question.


Why do I think I deserve better ? Why dont You see that You cannot have everything.
Why can’t I think well under pressure ? Why Don’t you focus completely on the moment and learn from it later. Forgive and forget.
Why doesn’t science provide answers for all my questions ? Why ? if it did then life would become boring . Don’t you need something to work
Why do other people look more happy ? Why do you have to compare.

Why am I bored ? Why are you not engaged .There are so many things that you can do.
Why can’t I be better ? Why dont you work on getting better.
Why can’t I be famous ? Why do you want to be famous. Its just fate that some people are what they are.
Why doesn’t my room have more cupboards ? Why dont you arrange things better.

Why am I hungry ? Why don’t you cook and eat, it can be one of the get away for Boring.
Why can’t I Run fast ? Why don’t you train better.
Why can’t I sleep fast ? Why don’t you stop thinking.
Why don’t I get more likes ? Why don’t you focus on doing a good job and stop worry about the results.                                                                                                                                                           Why ? Why not


Why dont I stop ? Why dont you stop.


Serendipity of Chaos

Quote from President APJ Abdul Kalam

“If there is righteousness in the heart, There will be beauty in the character,
If there is beauty in the character, There will be harmony in the home,
If there is harmony in the home, There will be order in the nation,
If There is order in the nation, There will be peace in the world”

Great words by a great leader. We all like order, we long for it, crave for it, need it to feel safe for our own well being. 


One cannot find order or order a system unless you understand disorder or chaos. No matter how much I dislike chaos. Chaos is necessary to test the stability and quality of Order. A good system is one that is prepared for as many random conditions that one can possibly think of. Unfortunately no matter how well you are prepared, unless you have faced chaotic situations again and again you cannot order it or perform well under the immense uncertainty. 


Humans have been unable to control forces of nature. We dont know when there could be another Earth Quake, Tsunami, Intergalactic attack etc. When there is one we realize how helpless we are to the bigger forces of nature. 

Its strange Nature loves symmetry, provides greatest of the sights, has created one of most beautiful creatures, plants, landscapes yet it can or shall I say more often than not level all of that to a speck of dust like it was nothing.

Nature is an uncontrolled force. Human can be controlled but uncontrolled due to the nature of its being. 

Today I witnessed a fight. Fight between two adults. It was a fight of ego. Born out of infidelity. Perhaps the fight was one of motivator for me to write about the incident and analyse it. Even though I was not in the fight, I could feel how unfair is a fight. People who are not in the fight can get affected by it. No wonder majority of the victims in War are the innocents civilians who lost their lives and belongings because some leader thought that was the right thing to do. 

One can take any War or a Mass causality , the worst victims are not only the ones in the fight but also the ones who had nothing to do with any of it. 

I dont want to prolong my hypothesis as it has so many dimensions attached to it. The more I dig the more skeletons will fall out. Rather, let me dig in what can I do to protect my interests in a chaos. 


Rule one  – avoid it. We humans are not built to fight. A Tiger or any wild animal is 100% attack. It does not have emotions . No Fear, No Remorse, No Empathy. Given a fight or flight situation it will do anything and everything within its grasp to survive. It does not think of implication and future. All it cares about is now and the moment. Animal Doesn’t care about fatigue, which is why all attack attempts are 100% effort. Biggest of all it is willing to die at any moment ( protected by Natures design).

Unfortunately we cannot do that. We are not trained by Nature to hunt or  To kill. We are trained by nature to think, to empathize, to look from others perspective so as to avoid a fight.

Rule two – lot of times fight is not a fistful one but a vocal argument which turns ugly due to the clash of mutual interests. When peoples emotions are hurt they don’t think straight. Blood pressure rises, adrenaline is high, One tends to act completely out of instinct without rational thinking.

When somebody arguments your belief/Ideas/work/actions in a combative manner, hurts your ego, shows no contrition for the bad manners, displays lack of concern but only selfish interest. You need to know two things.

Is this person above you like a Boss or a Senior person or is this person below you like a child or a peer.


If the person is above you, then he/she may not budge to your ideas. They are in a position of power. So it is better to let go your ego and comply with their request in a way that characterize you as a victim to gather a bit of sympathy . Comply with their demands with thoughtful and sympathetic way. Knowing that they are in a position of power they might negotiate since you lowered your stands.This is sometimes called principle of contrast in negotiation.

If they are below you then take some time. Buying time is the best thing that you can do. When you are being confronted you must know that you will not make good decisions, so try to get more time. Do not commit on anything.If you cannot buy more time, then think of yourself in their position. This is the hardest thing to do. It is easy to order someone to do something, when they are below you, Unless you ask them to do the right thing, you wont be satisfied with your decision.


Yes, we are all self conscious. When we make a unfair request, we cannot live with that.Sometimes the Youngsters cannot see the big picture. Youngsters find it hard to stop the temptation of smoking or watching too many movies even though, they know for some extent that is not good them. When you are dealing with such a situation use a leverage.

Instead of strong arming them with a command not to smoke like ” I will will cut your pocket money”, tell them smoking will adversely impact your sports performance etc. Putting yourself in others shoes will help you make better decision and more important will earn respect. Because there is a possibility we will deal with these people again and so If we are unfair to them knowingly then it could impact your reputation and future interactions. 

If you think your situation does not necessarily fall in the above two category. Then there follow the third rule.

Rule 3 – let it go. Lot of the times the Idea of a fight/chaos is not real ( I am using Chaos and Fight interchangeably). If it is real then follow Rule 1 or Rule 2. Many times the disagreements or clash is just personal. It is in our minds.We have no way to know exactly what the other person is thinking. We can try asking questions, but that does not necessarily mean they will honest about it or they are a fair person. So we tend to unknowingly use our own Mental Model to judge the situation. This Model is imperfect but since it is automatic we often fall prey to its imperfections.

Just let it go.May be there is a reason why this person has such a different view of the things.Unless that view is harmful to view just let it go. ( if it is harmful use Rule 2). You dont have to prove anyone wrong or right.Just let it go. People will appreciate you more if you are positive or neutral towards them than negative.Just let it go. Unless these people are your friends who know that what ever you meant to say was nothing personal, arguments can often damage your image and relations. No matter how silly someone may sound, try to explain in a neutral way if you can’t just let it go.

Image Credits: Google 



Bitter Sweet

like many people I look for something new time and again to avoid getting stuck. Explore new ways for the same act or make a different act out of same situation. Without this curiosity to change we “Human beings” as a species would not have survived or will not survive the future.

May be I profess too much about change for good. In the hindsight, no matter how good a change can be it is difficult depending on what you are trying to change. Even though I am not a mystic I like to think that Every person has a certain Nature which brings about his/her character. This Nature is innate. Character is built. Character is built with up from childhood through the experiences, the teachings, the environment and may be to a certain extent  the Nature might influence how a character is designed.

Character is most important in a person. Circumstances will change, environment will change. It takes character and resolve to sail through the challenges and make it in one piece. 

A Short story to emphasize what character means.


Year 1936, Karoyl Takacs, Sergeant of Hungarian Army who happens to be a world class pistol shooter is denied an entry to Olympics on the grounds that he is a Sergeant and not an Officer, a Rule at that time in Hungary. 

Lot of people may not know Takacs. Some consider him to be a Olympic Hero a triumph of will ,passion and determination.

Disappointed at the denial of an entry, Takacs continues to train hoping to enter Olympics in the next fall. In 1938, during a routine army training Takacs looses his right hand which was his shooting hand due to the explosion of a faulty grenade. 

Tragic and catastrophic. Was it an Iron will of a Soldier or the Determination to win medal in Olympics I dont know, Takacs decided to shrug off the disappointment of losing his shooting hand by training to shoot with his left hand. Wait a minute this guy spent a month in hospital for the treatment of losing a hand. Shooting is the first thing that comes to his mind in between all of the matters of life ?


Sounds crazy. That is how some people are. This defines their character as a person.Instead of feeling sorry for himself and losing to self pity, Takacs decides to work with what he has than fret what he lost. He starts to train himself to shoot using Left hand. For months Takacs confides himself in isolation training secretly all by himself( I wonder if something like that is even possible in this generation). Some would have thought he is probably grieving in the sorrow of losing a golden opportunity to win a medal for his country. None would have imagined his rather drastic decision. 

1939. Takacs shows up at the Hungarian National Pistol Shooting championship. People came over to him to pay their condolences, they probably thought he has come to watch. They got a shock when they saw he had not come to watch but to compete. Takacs in fact won the championship. 

The Ban for Sergeants to compete in Olympics was lifted. Takacs had high hopes on the Olympics of 1940 . As it stands The Olympic Games scheduled for 1940 and 1944 were cancelled due to the Second World War. Patience. It had been 14 years,still no Olympics no medal. Takacs had to wait.


Finally it came through, 1948 Summer Olympics aged 38, Takacs beat the reigning world champion to win the Gold Medal in 25m rapid fire pistol category and set a world record of that era. He Won gold again in 1952 Summer Olympics. He also participated in the Olympics of 1956 aged 46 and finished 8th. 

Apart from the extraordinary Heroics of Takacs , Few things that struck me the most.

Focus on what you have than what you dont ( We all have seen so many talented athletes and people fall off at the first sign of obstacle, perhaps having a different view would make a change).

Unshakable Commitment towards your goals( Takacs trained for Olympics for a staggering 20 years, half of which he did not compete. He encountered numerous obstacles yet he came through with persistence,patience and Hard work. When Life throws obstacles ,you make you own path.)

Consistency( Had Takacs stopped training he would never have been able to compete aged 38 in the Olympics at such high level).

Finally a Big Thank you Salute to Late Karoyl Takacs, You will continue to live in my Mind and Inspire me every day.

Photo Credits: Google